The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
