I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
