Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
