I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
