Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
