Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
