My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
