Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
