It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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