Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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