No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
