oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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