It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
