I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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