We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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