you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I would ride that face into the sunset
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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