i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize