I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
