Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
