its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
