I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
