You made me cry and you don't even care
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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