How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
