if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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