She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
