well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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