we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
