This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
