I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
