So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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