why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
