Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
