best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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