so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
