we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
how drunk are you?
Several
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
