508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
