FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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