Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
