If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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