Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
if only i could text you this smell
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
