I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my shit smells like andre
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
