nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just found puke in my bra..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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