I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Randomize
