I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they're like a gay fantastic four
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
