lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
