grandma shit on top of the toilet
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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