if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
