I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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