im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
