You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
