I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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