In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
