How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize