If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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