i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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