Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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