The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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