I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
