____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
