you guys were way drunker than both of me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
