I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
