doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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