He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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