it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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