I wish I could teleport
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The Olympian is in my bed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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