i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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