did you get engaged???
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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