New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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